Expect the Unexpected

All the news that's fit to print, debate, and chew on

Advice for Alec Baldwin


Alec Baldwin in Glengarry Glen Ross.

Right off the bat, I’m going to admit I like Alec Baldwin — the actor. The man himself and his public image, not so much.

My favorite AB films are Beetlejuice, The Hunt for Red October, Malice, Glengarry Glen Ross, It’s Complicated, and on TV — 30 Rock and Saturday Night Live. (Schweddy Balls anyone?)

Alex’s private life has been played out very publicly, and it’s a hot mess. Nasty divorce from Kim Basinger, horrible voicemail to daughter, and alleged gay slurs up the ying yang. I say “alleged” because there are two sides to every story and Alex has his side too, which he expresses in great detail in an essay in New York Magazine.

I take Alex’s latest essay as a way to apologize for and explain his past behavior. An attempt to clean his slate and move forward with his life.

Mission: Failed

In the essay, Alex comes across as slightly crazed, just one degree off from Shia LaBeouf, and very very angry. No, make that ANGRY. He just can’t contain his anger. The whole essay is like a yelling match without the exclamation points. You hear the same tone and anger as he had for his daughter in that voicemail. Only now he’s mad at the world, and in particular New York.

As an Alec Baldwin (the actor) fan, I can only offer him one piece of advice.

Shut up. Rather, make that SHUT UP!

Quit yer bellyachin’, shut up and get some work. Take the first script handed to you, whether it’s a film or off-Broadway show and again, SHUT UP, and just do it. No pomp, no circumstances, no whining. Just good solid work. And buy some coffee for your co-workers.

Alec Baldwin and his Schweddy Balls on SNL.

Alec Baldwin and his Schweddy Balls on SNL.

Then, repeat the cycle. Do it again…  and again. And once more for good luck.

Let your body of work speak for itself. Let your kind behavior to co-workers speak for itself, and let your silence with the media speak for itself, or rather not speak for itself.

Don’t be baited into using gay slurs. When you call some prying paparazzi “a lousy Motherf*er,” stop right there! Resist any other embellishment. Of course, I would like to say don’t call the dude a Motherf*er, but that might be too much for you. Let’s just compromise and you stop at Motherf*er. ‘k?

And I agree with you, New York is not a great place to raise a family. It’s too busy, too loud, too unforgiving. Come up here to Connecticut. You’re close to the action, but you’re out of the mix. You can watch your daughter in school plays and volunteer with local theater groups. We want you. Come here, start over, be part of our community.

And oh yeah, just shut up.


Single Post Navigation

One thought on “Advice for Alec Baldwin

  1. Pingback: Alec “Wrong Way” Baldwin | Expect the Unexpected

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

the craptacular

Broadway and everything you never needed to know about it


Colourful Good Food & Positive Lifestyle


An omnivorous couple's perspective on all things om-nomable in Fairfield County, CT.

The Little Bean

where the coffee shop ends & the cooking begins

Top 10 of Anything and Everything - The Fun Top Ten Blog

Animals, Gift Ideas, Travel, Books, Recycling Ideas and Many, Many More

Moms in Weston, CT

Laugh. Learn. Live. You're not alone in this town.

Expect the Unexpected

All the news that's fit to print, debate, and chew on

The WordPress.com Blog

The latest news on WordPress.com and the WordPress community.